Thursday, August 18, 2011

Don't forget to remember me....

OMG! It has been over a month since I've posted? I am full of excuses. My computer blue screened and then my blackberry decided I didn't need the "E" key which was part of my password to unlock it. I switched to an android and hated it so I am back in business. Well, with a new blackberry anyway.

There is so much going on and yet it feels very stagnant. I am over two years banded and things there seem okay I am still a few pounds from goal but have not been obsessing about it as there has been so much other crap going on.

Not sure where I left this in other posts but after months of doctors, trips to Portland VA and tests we now know that my husband suffered four major strokes since Feb. They had thought it was a clot from his heart but have now ruled that out and these are true vessel failures and have happened on both frontal lobes. His personality has changed, his memory is bad, its all a little overwhelming. I use that word a lot, I know! I AM OVERWHELMED!

Every day seems to bring a new crisis either with my kids or him. I haven't had time to address any of my own needs in a long while. Sometimes I forget I have any then the guilt takes over... it is a vicious cycle for sure.

Sun is shining in Oregon. I can't tell you how nice that is. I have never been a sun worshiper but I have been trying to relax in the hammock early in the day and just meditate. I have a little color other that ghostly white for the first time in my life. I know how bad it is for me but I don't care! It makes me feel better. (ask me again in ten years when I am having more spots removed) lol

I am doing my best to keep up with you all. I am in love with Draz's post today. I hope to blog something soon or in more detail about how unprepared I was for the band and how I basically went nuts for a year ;/ all kidding aside, I pretty much did as a result of not being able to medicate with food.

Take care xoxo ~ Jen from Oregon