One of the things we ("we" meaning patients of the facility where I am having my surgery) have to complete is a list of goals, three short term and three long term goals. I thought this would be so easy....but I was so wrong. It is easy to focus on number goals 10lbs a month, 50 in a year... just examples but that wasn't the objective of the drill. I believe it was more to identify how you would feel in the moment of your accomplishment. Accomplishments, my friends, is uncharted territory and quite hard to write as a goal.
It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around what I was being asked to put down in black & white. Perhaps I don’t have it correct, but what I did come away with is that I don’t have a clue how I will feel in the moment…um, because I have never been there before. I hope I will be happy, excited, strong, encouraged. I hope, but what if I am not? What if I fail? What if I miss my go-to friend so much that I am depressed and unimpressed when I reach a goal?
I am a glass-half-full person for the most part but the fat girl in me does cast a shadow every now and again. I am wondering if anyone else had a hard time actually believing that this was going to happen and could see them happy and whole on the other end. I guess I may have never given this whole weight loss attempt a full go out of fear that it would not make me happy in the end. I know that sounds dumb but really skinny does not = happy. I wonder to myself…Will my marriage survive? (He is opposed to the surgery) Will my girls’ night out with my daughter be impacted because food is not the focus? Will I still be the “great cook” at the Holiday’s and such….Just some of the questions rolling around in my head with just three days to go until surgery!
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteGoing into such a thing as getting banded is a big deal. It just is. You might feel like you're about to be deprived but you're really not.. I promise. I have been banded now for two months and there's nothing I cannot eat...although it's true you can't put away what you used to... BUT
I could not have lost 17 kilos on my own!! I have proved this before. I feel fantastic. It's normal to feel a little out of sorts when you face something as life changing as this and the 'what if's' start coming out, but if you follow your docs advice (and I mean really follow it, don't just pick at the bits you want to) the band will work for you.