I'm unmotivated, uninterested, unimpressed and unhappy!
Nothing to do with my band or this process mind you, in fact, that is my only happy spot :)
I'm just so tired of being the only one to keep it together...Sometimes I just want to fuck up royally and see how they would all react! Do something, you know? Like get in a bar fight (but I don't drink) or get a traffic ticket (but I don't speed) Or actually throw all the dishes they left in the sink out in the freaking yard. (but, nope...I wash them)
It is my own fault really...well, the things I allow. The rest of it is just me, I follow rules, I am not a thrill seeker and I like order. They know it and abuse it.
With every single layer that is removed from me... the more pissed off I get.
I deserve more, at least as much as I give....
I see some big changes coming in 2010 and I am freaked the hell out!
That's enough for now. Going to go find my Ativan and calm the "F" down.