YAY! Spring is here, well according to the calendar anyway. I am so looking forward to longer, brighter days. This grey weather has to go! (unfortunately, we have a good week of it still ahead. Sigh)
I got the husband to go to the ER on Friday night. He had gone nearly a month with his symptoms (nausea, dizzy, loss of taste) well, Friday about 1/3 of his tongue went numb. I think it freaked him out enough to go.
They believe he has had a stroke. An MRI is needed this coming week to confirm and r/o anything else like a clot or tumor. He was released as there was not a lot they could do at that point.
When the Doctor told him he didn't believe that his taste or tongue numbness would revert I think it hit him pretty hard. (side note - he can speak and chew okay thankfully)
This part is about me.
SAD: I feel sad that he can't taste. That would suck. It hurts me because that is one thing that I know I am good at (cooking) and he has always appreciated.
ANGRY: I'm pissed. Mad that he didn't go early on although it wouldn't have changed much. Pissed that he has ignored a blood pressure of 200/110 for a few years. Really? What did you think would happen? Resentful that I could be put in a position to end up providing life altering care to someone who doesn't care for themselves.
GUILTY: I feel guilty that I quit on him. That I quit control of his medical care and treatment. It wasn't my job but I had made it so as I avoided my own self-care. I know that I am ultimately not responsible but my heart hurts thinking that I could have done more.
So that is about it. Tomorrow I see the therapist and my Rheumatologist then I will "assist" in getting his medical records to the VA for the MRI. It is going to be a busy Monday!
******Attn to any family/friends that read this. I don't think he is ready to share this news until he gets additional results. He doesn't want his Mom to know for sure. Please respect that this is my outlet and the views/thoughts are what "I" am going through. I don't want to feel like I have to edit this. Thank you :) *******